Proud of you!!!=)

This is written.. err.. rather typed by my ever so quiet barkada.. FABBY!!! *applaud!!applaud!!*

May 20, 2006. One significant day

10 years have passed, something’s never changed

Seems like we never left high school

Some frowned, some complained

One swore “I’ll knock their faces down”

Still, we hugged each other, excitement's spilling over

Seems like we never left this bench

Where we used to sing a happy and emo song

We sat their and together flew the past

Funny scenes and crappy ones

We teased each other, laughed at one then another

The clock is ticking; at last we left the bench

Where the nine of us fit for minutes

It’s been a while since we walked complete

Looking around, Seems like nothing has changed

Except for the sign where “Follow Me” used to hang

Robinson’s Palace at last, summer’s heat still within us

We cling at each other’s arms, afraid of jumbling with the crowd

We did some catching up, blurted “yikees” and giggles

Seems like something remained the same

Music? Movies? Nah! Love Life is what interests everybody

We’re halfway of our adventure, everything is nicely flowing

Decisions! Decisions! There and There

Made up our mind, first we’ve gone lunch

Glancing at our wristwatch, time on our clocks, it’s almost Time!

These laughs, those smiles, slowly fading

Clutching bags, useless papers…

Half of us got lucky. Other Half? Oh we’re getting tired

Heaving sighs, about to raise our white flags...

Something seems constant. Confess and Tell!

Who’s the one with the scar!?

Another 10 years went; phew! finally we passed

The movie house is quiet, full of focus and concentration

“Ano daw!?” I uttered out one scene

Feeling a bit stupid, both my hands covering my face

Lights are out …ok! But someone besides me couldn’t restrain

Movies done, comfort room is crowded

Retouch! Retouch! Surely they won’t forget

Girls got to be beautiful, in case a handsome guy pass us by

Decisions! Decisions! Here and There.

Strolled for minutes, next it’s time to go home…

I still don’t want to go! 8 of you by my side

But nothing can be done unless I argue with their dads

Going home, I walked alone. My heart is bursting

I still can’t believe everything that had happened

1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8… No one, really, is missing

May 20, 2006, one significant date

No one’s birthday, not even a holiday.

Just a plain trip, just a plain Gimik

May 20, 2006, one significant date

My long craved gift,

My nightly whisper to my prayers,

My wish to those bright stars,

My wish to my eighteen candles,

My dreams, my wanting feeling…

Everything… fulfilled, answered and came true

May 20, 2006, one significant date

It’s when the nine of us talked, walked and laughed

It’s a day where the nine of us are FINALLY complete

--> Waah.. I envy her.. cannot write things like this.. though inspiration has strucked.. still can't write anything.. I've been scrimping words for months now.. and all of them were senseless blabbers..

Well.. Just feel like showing it to you.. Nicely done eh!! CONGRATULATIONS FABBY!!! So proud you!!

Im feeling sentimental tonight.. Fabby if ever you're reading this.. Know what?.. I'm crying while Im reading what you wrote.. Literally crying ah.. with the tears and occasional sniffing.. I just feel so alone, neglected and taken for granted.. But.. then.. I remember.. though we don't see each other often.. We know that somehow.. If one calls "HELP!!''.. Everyone will be right by her side..

How I wish we never have to leave that bench where we all fit.. How I wish.. We can stay that way forever.. But we have to go and move on and ne?.. But we never have to let go..

Long live us.. Long live KULTO!! I need you now guys.. more than ever..='(

impudence, persistence, endurance

To be a good liar, you should have these three qualities: impudent mind, grand persistence, and solid endurance.. Ask me where I got that?.. From Joo Yoo Rin of "My Girl".. And in that series.. SHe prove all of them effective..=)

So.. I realize.. I should impudently persist that I have no feelings for him.. and endure that decision.. If I can't lie to myself.. At least I can lie to others.. And oh.. How good I am in lying.. I never thought I would have to put this mask on again.. But I just have to.. If I don't wanna be found out..

I'm giving myself a deadline.. When the clock struck 12 midnight on the 29th of July.. I would leave everything behind me.. I'll pretend that I never met any of them.. and persist that nothing happened.. and endure the pain the all the memories would bring..

From then on, I would become a new person.. Untouchable, Cold, Unreachable.. I never knew it would come this far.. But I'm so tired of it.. I haven't cried yet.. and I won't.. never.. I think its too late..=)

OHKAY!!! that was senseless again.. What has eaten me and I'm talking nonsense things?..=p.. Katz would be going back to Japan next week.. Yay!! He'll be gone for a long time again..='(..

We don't have classes today.. Jr, Tom, Joven and Alu came to our house..=).. We watched 2 episodes of "My Girl" then we went to SM.. Had our lunch there, but JR has to go back to UST becasue she has to meet up with Joseph.. Tom, Joven, Alu and Me played at the arcade and collected tickets.. Tom wanted to get the Tigger plushie for Achel.. It was worth 160 tickets.. So we played all the games that gives away tickets.. Galing-galing namen.. We were able to collect all that 160tickets.. Naiinggit ako.. gusto ko rin ng Pooh..=p..

interlude: flashback

I remember..(I'll reminisce and reminisce muna.. its not yet the 29th pa naman..) when Ryoi-chan and I were still okay.. He asked me what I wanted to have when we celebrate our 1st yr anniversary.. told him that I want a sports car, 1million US dollars and a house and lot..=p.. then I said I was just kidding.. Then I saw this big Winnie the Pooh stuff toy.. (We we're at the mall at that time..).. Since I love pooh.. and I always dreamed of buying that expensive toy.. I went to see its price.. Checking if its on sale.. If yes.. I would buy it then and there.. Unluckily its not.. Then Ryoi-chan told me.. I'll buy you that when we turn 1 year.. OH.. now.. no more Big winnie the pooh stuff toy for me..='(..

end of flashback

Anyway.. Then after the arcade.. We went to a karaoke booth to sing.. hahaha.. I just love singing.. But darn Katz have to call me.. Waah.. I sang only two song..=(.. I thought he could make it to the mall.. JR said she would want to meet Katz.. But Katz is rushing something.. Hay.. artists..=p.. so busy talaga..

Well.. that's all for now.. Still not yet done with my manga reading.. And I have more pending mangas.. So.. byebye.. my scanlated mangas are waiting for me..=)

Never!!

I won't check my friendster account for 3 months or so.. ='(

Im hyperventilating now!!.. I've seen something I shouldn't have.. or atleast prefer not to.. Shit.. Why am I affected so?.. It's not like .. waah.. why?..='(

The feeling.. It's familiar yet something new.. I felt this way before, but not like this way before.. do you get me?..

I'm talking nonsense here, but I dont care.. This shouldn't have happened if I just.. I just.. Oh goodness.. My heart.. its racing.. the pain.. its unbearable.. its so hard to breathe.. why?..

Oh God!.. Why?.. Shit.. you shouldn't have showed it to me.. I can't take it and I don't understand why.. What is wrong with me?..='(

kasalang sumpa!!

I feel like I just woke up from a hazy dream.. hazy.. but I remember it vividly.. ='(

It's really hard to do, but the dreamer just have to wake up for she has nothing to dream for anymore.. Everything, even her dreams were taken away from her.. Nothing she has nothing but tears which were unshed..

Oh.. How sad it is when all the things that are special to you is taken one by one..

OH---KAY!! that was nonsense..

Well.. Watched "Sukob" today with my friends.. Yay!!.. So scary.. The whole gala was planned by easy.. Monday night, he texted us to bring extra money because we will watch sukob on Wednesday.. Last night, I was actually planning not to go, because I want to save money.. But Alu persuaded me.. Anyway.. It was worth it.. The movie was good.. And Kris' acting.. well.. it was expected from her.. to be a bit o.a.=p..

Many watched the movie.. Maybe because it was the first day and because there'll be no classes the next day..

WAAH!! My stupid monitor is going nuts.. It keeps on changing its color.. from yellow to white to yellow again..

Well then.. Alu bought an anklet today.. I like it! I want one too.. But, I have to save money so I'll just let that anklet pass..=)

Im so tired.. Mommy left the office late.. So, I also came home late.. Need to sleep now.. err.. go back to reading scanlated mangas pala..=p.. Im addicted to themm..
Aion..

effect of scanlated mangas...

If only someone was there with me, at that moment, at that time.. Then maybe.. I wont feel this way.. Then maybe.. just maybe.. I still believe in fairytales..

Im currently reading a scanlated manga at the moment.. Titled, "Summer Love".. It's cute.. Well, actually.. Everything I've read is nice.. But a scene in this manga really caught my attention.. It's like this:

Aki walked out of the house after talking to Nara about their, not knowing that Haruki followed her. She was seating just outside the house, keeping all the hurt she is feeling inside. Haruki sat down beside her. And their conversation goes on like this:

Haruki: Are you okay? I heard the conversation (between Aki and Nara)
Aki: Yeah. Nara has a happy face when he is with Ayana, I never saw him smile like that when he is with me. Maybe because I'm not that....

Aki was not able to continue what she will be saying. Haruki grabbed her and tightly held onto her.

Haruki: Just cry! You have already endured it for the whole day. You've been trying so hard. You can stop now. Just cry.

The End..=p

Not really.. But that scene was my favorite. Then I thought, if only I have a 'Haruki' there with me at the time. Maybe I was able to cry and release the pain I was holding inside me. And then maybe, just maybe...

But past is past. =).. I can never go back nor change it.. This is me, and this is what I've become.. I cannot do anything about it now.. I'll just have to deal with all the consequences of the action I did..

JR was right.. I told her before that, I'll risk anything just to be happy even for a while.. I don't care if I get hurt again.. I just want to be happy.. And I was happy.. I'll just jepp all those happy memories and never mind all the bad and sad and painful ones.. My friend texted me nga, "Life is like me.... It's beautiful!!=p"


OHKAY!! This post is a side effect of too much scanlated manga.. Sorry for the grammatical and typographical errors.. I don't reread my post eh.. Anyway.. blogposts are synanonymous with diaries, right?.. so no need for rewriting.. hehehe..=)...

Goodnight.. Have to go back to my scanlated mangas..=p

the girl who braved the storm..

Corny title ne?.. Bear with it.. cant think of any eh.. =p

It's been raining nonstop since yesterday.. Kaya, classes are suspended today.. Waah.. we've been cheated again.. We really dont have classes every monday.. Sana, they just suspended the classes for tomorrow..

Well, just got home from Bulacan.. Today is Tito Ferdie's Bday.. Some of his realtives came yesterday.. Para makikaen.. I dont want to sound biased.. but really.. I dont like his realtives.. Tito Ferdie is okay.. but his mom and sister.. they're.. uhm.. they're just a bunch of leeches that don't see anything but money.. I mean.. I dont want to be rude.. but they just know my mom when they need money or something from her.. Yesterday.. they came eraly,, mommy and tito ferdie were out to buy something from the wet market.. hay naku.. i didn't go out of the room and just pretended to be asleep.. ayaw ko nga cla alukin ng coffee.. eh feeling at home.. they made coffee for themselves.. then instead of cleaning up the mess they made.. they waited for mommy and tito ferdie and it was my mom who washed the cup and saucers they used.. oh! i hate them.. hinde sila bisita noh at hinde katulong mommy ko.. then.. they were all in the sala.. watching tv.. while my mom is cooking food for them to eat.. wala man lang nakaisip tumulong.. knowing na they would be the one eating what my mom is preparing.. When i wento down.. i helped my mom with the dishes then i again locked myself up in the room.. i dont want to see nor hear them.. kakainis talaga.. later that day.. my mom confided in me that tito ferdie's relatives wanted them to buy a nebulizer for his dad worth 4k.. hay naku.. mukha bang walking bank mommy ko?.. i joked and said.. what don't i just give my nebulizer to them? im not using it anyway.. malaking pera ang 4k ah.. hay..

Its okay if they borrow money from us eh.. I see no problem in that.. the problem is.. I hate it when they treat my mom as a "pautangan".. They just remember her when they need money.. Mga mukhang pera.. I hate being rude.. And I even try anything possible just to be nice to them.. pero umaabuso cla.. Kakainis talaga..

Anyway, just got home from Bulacan.. As mentioned in my blog.. I was the Girl who braved the storm.. It was raining so hard in the highway.. I can't even see the vehicles infront of us.. Thank God I made it home in one piece..=).. Hahaha.. talked to Joven today.. nyahahaha.. I did it!! I won our bet!! Hay naku.. Joven should be mindful of what he is saying.. hahahaha.. talo xa.. barely got out of that huh.. Im so happy...

Its raining so hard again.. I hope there'll be still no classes tomorrow.. I don't feel like going to school yet.. Hay.. Am I bad? For feeling this way bout my tito's relatives?.. If there's one thing I hate most in this world besides frogs, its leeches... =(

Random thoughts...

Hay naku! I dont know which is more stupid, me or life itself..

talked to Katz atlast.. after a long time.. I actually missed him so much.. Know that feeling?.. Everything's messed up, yet you cannot talk to someone because he is one of thos people who's messing your life up.. HAY!!!.. but finally.. we're talking.. not like before,, but still talking..

We talked about lot of things.. from school to work to movies to fashion and finally to boys.. hay.. i really missed that kind of bonding.. going out for dinner then fooling around.. then going to get a coffee.. then do some boy watching.. We act as if nothing bad happened between us.. I wanted to make our last day together memorable kase.. Katz will be going back to Japan next week.. this time.. for real.. so, though its hard.. i have to act normal towards him..

But.. I still haven't told him about Ryoi-chan yet.. maybe next time.. Katz kept on bugging me to tell him.. i still wont.. huh!..

Aion.. i have so many commitments this weekend.. I promised Apen that I would watch POC2(pirates of the caribbean) with him, saturday night, waah.. i've already seen the movie eh.. kaya lang i promised..='(.. then.. Would go shopping with Cecille on Sunday.. hay.. so busy.. But that's okay.. I need to distract myself kase eh.. so that i would forget bout my messed up life..='(

Sabe nga ni alu.. Go out and have some fuhn.. but when you're already home and alone.. that's the time to for you to cry.. hay..

So sleepy.. just feel like writing something before i go to sleep.. Goodnight dear readers..=)

10 ways on how to heal a broken heart..

Hurting and broken-hearted??

READ!!

10. eat lots of ice creams..

09. if you're in a diet, content yourself with just ice.. same effect, less calories..

08. indulge yourself in sweets and chocolates..

07. search for new possible 'inspirations'..

06. forget and forget!

05. cry until your tear glands burst..

04. watch mushy movies and bash their plots..

03. go out every now and then.. with different guys that is..

02. never talk about it with your friends.. you'll just tend to reminisce the past that way..

01. hurt yourself again(=p).. remember the law.. pain cancels pain..


NOTE: all of the aforementioned ways has no proven therapeutic claims.. they are all based on my own exeprience.. but hey.. there's nothing bad in trying..

Passing by...

Just passed by...

Sitll have lots of things to do yet so little time... Im due for two quizzes tomorrow.. one minor and one major.. I have a quiz too the next day.. I have to finish a report for this week.. Pass a project.. and look out for possible inspirations..=p

Yay!!! My life's in a big mess.. And i hvae no idea how to set things straight.. need caffeine.. need caffeine..

Yatta!!! I'm a cerified caffeine addict.. And right now I am caffeine hyped...

Ja' Mata.. Got to study.. got to study!!!

Kampai!!!

What dreams are made of...

WARNING!!!

SENSELESS POST!!!


What are dreams made of?.. Rather what is a dream?.. For me, a dream is a place where reality and fantasy meets.. Where I can be whoever I want to be.. Where I can do naything want to do..

I am a dreamer, and my dreams is my refuge.. my lair.. I keep all my dreams in a glass case.. So nothing can touch it.. Even me.. For my dreams are the only pure things I have, which is not tainted by reality..

A happy thought.. and some fairy dust.. That's what my dreams are made of.. As pure as the sun.. As clear as the sky..

In my dreams.. I have my Prince, my fairy godmother, butterflies for sidekick and of course, my wicked step mother.. I created my own fairytale in my dream.. And I created it alone..

But,I can't understand why, someone was able to get through that glass case I made.. Someone was able to enter my dreams.. Dreamt with me.. Joined my fairytale.. Wrote my story.. and then suddenly left.. leaving behind a mess.. A mess I cannot undo anymore..

It would have been nice.. If I don't have to wake up from my dream anymore.. =)

busy..busy..busy.. me!!!

or.. nagbbusy-busyhan lang.. Inde.. busy talaga ako.. I'm loaded with lots of school work.. hay.. ang mga minor subjects.. nagffeeling major.. That is why it took me so long to update my blog.. my last update was.. uhh.. lastMay.. =(..

I don't know why, but. I'm not eating anymore, still I'm getting fat.. tsktsktsk.. Now, Im on "operation: skyflakes and water treatment!"

Ryoi-chan and I were like strobe lights.. On and Off.. On and Off.. and I'm getting tired of it.. so now.. we're officially and perpetually and forever OFF.. I'm sad.. yes.. but I have no time for that now.. He's a loser.. and a concrete definition of the word "sucker".. if there is such..

Who ever said that only boys are allowed to fool around?.. Hah!! I can fight fire with fire too.. But because it is dangerous to play with match sticks.. I'll fight fire with water.. my element.. hmm.. I'm talking nonsense here..

I feel so bad.. I did all I could to make us work out and still.. It didn't.. I don't know why, but it's really hard to let go of something or someone which you've held so close to you for a long time.. I fall and trust so easily, and I hate myself for that.. Hay.. stupid me..

This entry doesn't make any sense to me.. Nothing makes sense to me now.. I'm falling into the endless pit of insanity and i cannot help it..

What have I done to anger the gods and they gave me a cursed fate.. <-- so poetic huh?..