cliché saying - ratified

DISCLAIMER: I am not bitter! I am in love. Everything written below maybe a fact for me but not for anyone else and I meant no offense, so if someone somehow finds this post offensive, I won’t apologize. You should've been responsible enough to read this disclaimer.

"If you really love someone, set him free. And if he comes back then you're meant to be"

- A cliché saying often used by wandering souls (who just had their hearts broken) for the most obvious reason; COMFORT.

A human, like you, like me, like them, like everyone else wants nothing but to be comforted whenever we just let go of someone we treasured and loved for a very long time. And oftentimes we tend to turn to any source of comfort available and within our grasp. And that is where the role of that phrase comes in. We hold on to that saying as if it were some kind of a mantra; we use that mantra to convince ourselves that what we did is the best thing to do.

It is our human nature to fight for something we want or something very precious to us. Sometimes we fight wholeheartedly with our eyes closed, and sometimes we fight lamely as if always expecting that the worse will come out. But whatever way we use to fight, most fights still end up as a losing fight and we still need to give up. And once the painful reality of losing sinks in, we resort to the last and only thing there is to do; LET GO.

But it doesn’t stop with letting go. It never stops. Coz’ once we have let go of that someone precious we were so intent on holding on to, we tend to become parasitic imbeciles, hoping that we could hold/have that someone again all the while leaving all the work up to the hands of mysterious “Mr. Destiny” and “Mr. Fate”. And then, if we don’t get what we want, we get disappointed and blame “Mr. Destiny” and “Mr. Fate”. But we should know that those two cannot do all the work we expect them to do. There are at least 10 billion people in the world and more than half of that figure also leaves everything up to “Mr. Destiny” and “Mr. Fate”. How can we expect that pair to accomplish all that hard work in one lifetime?

I think once we have let go, we shouldn’t hope for a “coming back” event/situation. Letting go is a choice accompanied by finality. It could be a step or a decision or a mistake that once committed can never be recalled.

Let’s go back to the saying, “Let him go… if he comes back…” People we let go of never come back. If we believe that they do come back then we misunderstood what coming back really means.

When one person ‘comes back’, he goes to a place he’s been before, to the person he left behind and he was gone but he was not let go of. For example, a friend who is going abroad, after four years he comes back. That is coming back. We did not let go of that friend. Because even though he’s faraway, he is still a friend and he will be back as a friend. Coming back or not, he will always remain a friend.

But when we let go (as what the phrase means), we let go because we cannot be together with that person and there is no possibility of coming back. For example, a couple breaking up, when they break up and one let goes, they cannot be called a couple anymore. And when this couple meets again, we cannot say that “he/she came back” because if we say that, it is like saying that the same person came back. But that is not true. It is not the same person anymore. It may seem like it was like before but it doesn't feel like the same person anymore.

We let go because there is something that prevents us to keep them by our side. We let them go to enable them and us to change, grow up; so that someday when we meet them again (if only given the chance), we’ll be able to keep them for good.

If we let go, people disappear, sometimes the feelings for those people disappear too. Then, when we see them again they are already different person, we’ll be a different person. So if we meet again, we will definitely be strangers. And strangers don’t come back in our lives. And no matter how deep or great the feelings in the past is, stranger + another stranger start everything from scratch. How can there be a come back if everything is started from the very beginning? Even the feeling spark anew. Unless the fire wasn’t completely extinguished, and we cannot call that letting go.

As I said before, letting go is a choice accompanied with finality. Do not let go because it is the right thing to do. Sometimes the right thing is not the best thing. We should let go because it is what we feel. Letting go is not forced upon, it should be sincerely felt. The mind and the heart should be in sync and readied before letting go.

"If you really love someone, set him free. And if he comes back then you're meant to be" – I don’t say that this phrase is wrong, but according to my Logic teacher in high school, in an argument if one part is negative (wrong) then the whole argument must be negative (wrong). I have no right to rephrase this, but I think that saying should go like this "If you really love someone, set him free. If you meet him again then you're meant to be"

DISCLAIMER: I am reposting this disclaimer. I am not bitter! I am in love. Everything written below maybe a fact for me but not for anyone else and I meant no offense, so if someone somehow finds this post offensive, I won’t apologize. You should've been responsible enough to read this disclaimer.