watashi no koto daisuki!

Pretending is the most painful yet easiest way out... Once one have mastered the art of pretention.. Nothing would go wrong.. Bad thing is, I suck at pretending.. I thought I've already mastered it.. I guess I was wrong.. I cannot pretend because I dont know how to..

Like in our quiz in IT105 today.. I tried to pretend that I studied and I can surely pass that test.. But I know I can't.. I don't know a thing.. The test paper seems like to speak a foreign language to me.. I read it, over and over again.. But it still sounded foreign to me.. That's when I realized.. I cannot pretend that I am good in school.. When in fact I am not.. The.. I cannot also preten that I don't know someone whom I know very much.. I wanted to ignore them.. But when I saw them today.. It has the same effect on me.. My heart's beating so fast.. I feel like I am hyperventilating.. My throat was blocked.. I feel like crying.. I think I was almost crying.. almost.. the feeling was there, the blockage in my throat, except that.. there were no tears.. not even a drop..

Hahaha!! Even if I suck at pretending.. At least I can't cry anymore... err.. is that a good thing or bad?.. Anyway.. I was in a public place at that time.. I cannot afford to cry.. and Katz wasn't around.. hay..

Got to stop and study.. I have a quiz tomorrow too.. Vetzky no hitoribotsi!