I still have the FINAL say

Then he asked me, "Are you happy, Yvette? Are you truly happy?"

I looked up at him, stopped for a while and pondered on so many things. It took me sometime before I was able to answer. Am I happy? This was a bad day turned great. A day I thought I woud never get through with alive. But it turned into a great day. So was I happy?

Of course I AM HAPPY!

"Yes, I am happy. So happy, I dare not ask for anything more." I brightly answered. I am so happy I could die anytime.

Since I was sitting on the floor and he was standing by me, he patted me in the head and smiled the sweetest smile I ever got from him,

"Good that you are happy. I can't help but notice that you've been so down and depressed these past few weeks. I'm getting worried."

It may seem so cheesy and corny, but that touched every fiber of my being. He is right; depression, hurt, and hate is slowly eating me up. And I think no matter how much I pretend that some things do not affect me, I guess it just shows. The way I speak, the way I act, the way everything I am is shouting to the whole world that I am not feeling good. Some may not notice it BUT others do. HE noticed, he FELT what I was feeling, he CARED. And that made me really happy. And to think, we're not that close.

I've been hurt, I've been bitter, I've been hated, I've been depressed. But that was a thing of the past now.

Now, I want to leave everything behind, focus on my future and carry no grudges. I want to let go of everything because it just keeps on pulling me down. And I dont want to stay down forever. I want to stand up; get out from the quicksand of depression I fell into. I want to go back to the old me. This time for SURE.

It is said that HAPPINESS is a CHOICE and I CHOOSE to be HAPPY. I will be HAPPY. It may take me a few more days, weeks, months or maybe years to be happy, but that wont stop me (from being happy).

To the person who asked me if I am happy on that special day; I am so grateful you did. Now I realized, I dont need to be bitter over things I cannot change. That one question opened my eyes, my mind and my heart. I MATTER. No matter how despicable I am, someone still care enough to worry for/over me. I am still appreciated, I am still important, I AM STILL LOVED.

Again, to YOU (you know who you are) I give my whole LOYALTY to. Thank You.

And to the others; for hurting me, for pulling me down, for making me feel I am worth less than what I really am, THANK YOU. Thank you because you made me realize that NOT all people in the world are NICE (something I believed before) and even the person you trust the most is capable of hurting you.

Sabe nga ni Big Brother : "Kahit gaano ka kabaet, kahit gaano ka kalikable. May mga tao na hinde ka magugustuhan pero hinde ibig sabihin nun wala kang kwentang tao."=p


*note: Hinde ako bitter. Nagsasabe lang ako ng totoo. GRATEFUL din ako sa inyo. =D