Oblivion

OBLIVION

"The absence of awareness"
"The condition or quality of being completely forgotten"
"Chaos, destruction, ignorance, opposite of order"

I stupidly managed to let myself fall and get lost into an endless abyss of darkness. I held, with all that I have, on to everything that would help me keep my sanity. There were nights when all I see are undecipherable codes, blurry images, everything doesn't make any sense. They are nightmares, I know they are because my mind is screaming that at me over and over again. But my body, my heart won't believe what my mind tells it. Everything seemed so real, everthing feels so real. Its scarier than the scary and chaotic reality I am used to.

Before, all my dreams are pure. There were nightmares here and there, but none of those nightmares was able to cross the border and meet with reality. It has never woken me up i the middle of the night all sweaty and screaming. But it was a silent scream, because nobody heard it, no one listened, no one bothered to care.

TOOOOOT!!!! How was that for an intro?

Actually, what I am pointing out is, uhmm.. err.. shoot.. now I can't even remember what my point is..

Guess I've been idle for so long that is why my mind isn't functioning well. Lately, I am having constant mental-blocks/brain-fogs.. And I can't think right.

Would please someone tell me what's going on with me? Everything's so mess up, my mind, my heart, my whole thrice-d*mned life.. And I don't know what to do.

Okay maybe I should stop this ranting now before I go on telling things I shouldn't be saying,,

Well to sum this crappy post up..

I'M SO EFFING SAD AND LONELY AND FEELING SHITTY BUT THE PROBLEM IS I DON'T KNOW WHY!!!!!

*NOTE : Please forgive all my grammatical, typographical, emotional, psychological, physical errors. I din't bother rereading and editing this post.. And everything typed in here are product of my fragile state of my mind. NO OMISSIONS!