EMO post..

I'd love to stay so in love... But I have to give up on love, I have to give up on you.

I don't understand but I just have to do things that are to be done. There are lot of things I don't understand, and I have no plans of understanding them. It wont make any difference anyway. Understanding, misunderstanding, not understanding, or simply refusing to understand; whatever it may be it only boils down one point, it only equates to one answer, there is only one conclusion... Staying in love, I dont know where that would lead me, I don't know what would happen next.

So the last good thing there is to do is to give up. Love is a good thing, but whenever it starts to get jealous and think of bad things about others.. then it's not a good thing anymore.. Might as well give up..

Time to unwind...

Kaye's burned-out... Mom's stressed out... And I am giving up on love...

Each of us has our own reasons for unwinding, for wanting to unwind. This weekend, Mom arranged for a room reservation for us at Makati Shangrila. Its just an overnight stay, to rest, to pamper ourselves, to do some mother-daughter bonding.

Early Saturday, Mika, my high school bestfriend, asked me if I want to watch Twilight with her. Although I've already seen the movie, the chance to see her again was just too tempting.So I opted to watch the movie again. I met up with Mika in Glorietta,bought tickets then ate dinner. Kaye wanted to watch the movie too, so after dinner, Mika and I went to the hotel room to get my sister. The movie ended at around 8:30pm. We all went back to the hotel, Mika stayed for a few minutes, did some catching up with each otherm and finally she went home.

Now, back to unwinding, I decided to go to Shang's health club to have a sauna bath. And unexpectedly, I saw Ms. Trixie there. =D. She was there with her friend and her sister. At first I did not noticed her until I heard someone called my name. Aion, small world.=D

Now back to the purpose of our weekend check-in. We were able to unwind, at least I was.=p. While in the sauna bath, I was thinking things over and over and over. And I finally came to a conclusion, as of now, I am giving up on love or I'll die trying. Hahahah.. EMO, yeah.. But love is so unpredictable, it can make you feel good one moment and shitty the next. I am already unpredictable myself, no need for any more unpredictable things. =D

So there, mission accomplished, goal achieved. Hahahah.. Told mom that we should have weekends like this frequently, it's so fun. =D

I think you're stupid

and it's not even a ***d.. =))

Twilight Night

Disclaimer: This is not a movie nor a book a review. Just a sort of flash back on what happened yester-night. This may contain some spoilers though, so there. =D

Yesterday, November 26, was the official opening day of Twilight movie here in the Philippines. I've read the book last year and was also able to finish reading all four books. It's a good read, it has its charm but its not as good to me as it was to others.

I love reading books, its not just a hobby for me, it is more than that. And whenever I find a good book to read, I keep reading and reading and reading it until I almost memorize all the lines of the characters. At first, it was like that with Twilight, I read it for the first time, then second, then on the third? Well, I got bored. It did not held my attention that long (unlike HP, Bourne series, Thorn birds, etc). But I still bought all four installations of Twilight just to know how Bella ended (still clumsy human? or clumsier vampire?) and also I must admit, those four books look good in my bookshelf.

I won't be giving a summary of Twilight because I know most, if not all, of you know it already. So back to the purpose of this post. Yester-night, I was invited by JR to watch Twilight with them. Oracle employees have were given free tickets for the movie, they also have the choice to bring a guest with them, I was JR's guest. THANKS SO MUCH DEAR!

The movie will be shown in Rockwell, I went with because her friend Marga, who also works in Oracle, also invited her. Rockwell was full of Oracle people and Lasalle people and I was neither. =p.

Now, onto the movie. The movie, like many other book-adaptation movies, was not as good as its book version. I expected as much as that. But the movie was okay, it was not disappointing unlike the others. Except for the 'out-of-character' Bella and the fact that almost all scenes were dominated by Edward's and Bella's closed-up faces and all you can hear are growls, sighs and heavy breathing, I enjoyed the movie and I love the girl who played 'Alice's' role. I hope she was given more exposure. =D

Surprisingly, yes surprisingly, I enjoyed the movie. I have comments, I have some things I don't like about the movie but over-all, I enjoyed it. After the show, I went to the wash-room and I can't help but overhear these set of girls talking about the movie and how OVERLY disappointed they were. Well, I believe that each of us is entitled to our own opinion, but 'OVERLY disappointed' is just a very strong word. But as I was replaying the movie in my mind, I think I have a slight idea as to why those girls said they were 'OVERLY disappointed'. It is either, they were already expecting to be disappointed even before the movie started that it magnified all the flaws of the movies or they were expecting too much, like more 'kilig' love scenes from the movie. I really don't know what's their reason, all I have are assumptions so err I don't know.=p

Luckily for me, I was not expecting anything from the movie. I just want to see those pale drop dead (literally and figuratively) vampires alive and moving. And I saw what I expected to see, I'm happy with that. One more thing, "ang kapal ko naman kung magrereklamo pa ako eh libre na nga. =p"

It was more than that...

For others, it may only be a joke; something to laugh about; but it was more than that for me. It was a lot more than that for me.

I'm used to jokes, bullying and the likes. They don't bother me like they used to. But what happened just a few days ago, it bothered me and it's something I won't be getting over with any time soon.

Many would have thought "ang arte-arte naman ni Yvette, parang..." but as I've said before, it was more than that for me. It's not something that when I sleep then wake up, everything will be back to normal. It's hard to explain, I may not be making any sense right now. But this is what I feel.

It was more than that for me. ='(

Once again...

I've fallen once again. Waaa.....

From crush#1, #2, #3, #4, #5...I keep on flirting again and again just to stop myself from falling. But I did it. And it hurts like hell.

I thought that if I keep on liking different guys almost everyday, it would somehow divert my attention from him. It would somehow help me forget him, help me drown what I feel for him.

PERO.....

Waaa... I like him so much I don't know what to do. I like him so much, I don't like him anymore... I LOVE HIM... Waaa...

It's NOT an amusement park..='(

Last Saturday, November 8, my college friends (Jhapi, JR, Ryan, Almie, Judith, EZ, Carleen, Ralph) and I went to Star City to de-stress and wind out. I was excited the whole week before November 8 itself. My last time in Star City was years ago, as in 10++ years ago. It was when Star City was still an amusement park.

We decided to meet up in Edsa LRT station. Of course, as expected, I got lost. Nothing new with that. Then from there, we took a cab (two separate cabs) to star city.

The moment I entered Star City, I was immediately disappointed by the environment that welcomed me. It's NOT an amusement park, it's more of an tianggean (bazaar). There were different stalls everywhere; accessories, cellphones, video games, game consoles, food, clothes, name it, star city has them.

The place is so small and crampy, you can't help but feel claustrophobic. There were even indoor rides which I think should not be indoors i.e. Vikings (Star City's version of EK's Anchor's Away). They also have two horror houses (trying hard horror house) which is no different from each other, I'm wondering why they even put the effort to do two of them. I'm a self-confessed scaredy-cat, certified coward, and I have a wild imagination. But those two horror houses did not scare me. Oh well, a bit perhaps. It was dark inside, I hate the dark, and the sounds are creepy. But all in all it was as scary as I expected. Though, at some parts of the house, Ralph was holding me like a father would hold his kid to prevent her from running away and getting lost somewhere inside the house.=)). There were also screaming high school students (by the way they look an act, I assumed they are HS students) who kept on tugging on Ralph's shirt, much to his irritation. =))

Next to the not-so-scary horror houses was Star City's pride, Snow World. In fairness to them, they did well on their Snow World. They claim that the temperature inside is -15degrees celcius, well I doubt that. If the temperatute there was -15, we would have already frozen the moment we stepped in, what with the super thin "thermal" jacket they provided. But I enjoyed the slides, really. Especially the long one. Sliding on ice is a nice experience. =). One more thing that is nice about Snow World is you can enter again and again and there is no time limit. Well, that is if you can stand the cold. =)

After Snow World, we then tried the outdoor rides. Over looking the uber long lines (lucky us, it seems that all schools have chosen Star City as their field trip destination that day) we had fun. We first tried the SurfDance ride. It's a rectangular shaped ride that can accomodate 4 persons in a row. since we're odd numbered (9), we opted to divide ourselves into 3. The ride goes up and down while doing a almost 90degree turn, or something like that. It was exciting, scary, fun and everything. Next is the mini roller coaster. Mini because, compared to Space shuttle of EK, the ride only lasted for a few seconds. And compared to EK's space shuttle, I felt safer in the mini roller coaster of Star City. First, their seatbelt is tighter and I've never heard YET of an accident which involves their roller coaster. So there. As I've mentioned before, we were odd numbered, so 1 would have no pair. But JR didn't want to ride so it evens up are number. Supposedly. my pair would be Ralph, but the line was cut-off so only me, Ralph, Ryan, Judith, and Almie were the first ones to ride. And I was the one who got separated. The only available seat was the first carriage. I have a seatmate but I don't know him. And maybe whoever he is, its either he found me super funny or irritating. The ride haven't started yet but I was already saying 'ohmigod.ohmigod.ohmigod.' and when the ride was released, i was screaming for all my life's worth. I dared not close my eyes, for I was scared that the next time I open them I'll be dead already (speak of paranoid).

After those two rides, I was dizzy as hell. Dinner came next. I thought I wont be able to push even a bite thru my throat or I'll throw up. But I was able to do it. A hungry person, dizzy or not is still hungry. Nothing can separate her from her food.=))

We planned to enter Snow World again, but in the middle of our long wait in the line to ride the bump cars, we all changed our mind. We're already SO tired all I want is my cozy bed, not a trying hard -15degree freezer.

So after the bump car ride, we decided to go home. We all went our separate ways with big smiles plastered on our faces. Star City may not be the amusement park I was expecting, but with good company, nothing can go wrong. =)

Labas tayo ulit guys! Swimming naman next.=D

I am home, and yet I feel like I don't belong...

It's not really a bad feeling, but not a good one either. It feels like being somewhere in between; and the confusion is killing me. There's no feeling of certainty anymore.

This is what I wanted, this is what I insisted, but now I don't know anymore. I am home, that is definite but I am also sure that I don't belong.

I should feel comfortable to where I stand right now. This is what I should say my comfort zone. But then why do I feel this way? It's like I don't want to be here, I want to be somewhere else, I want to be far far away from here... As far away as I could be, as far as my feet could take me. But then, I don't want to go that far away. Because if I do, then I might lose myself with the distance. And once I come back, I wont be me anymore.

Pag nagbreak kayo...

... Pedeng akin ka na lang?

Kelan kaya yun? =)) Pakibilisan ng konti at ayaw kong pinag-aantay ako. Remember... pag nagbreak kayo, waiting next in line ako.. =))

Thank you... I love you... I'm leaving...

Thank you...

... for all the time you spent with me;
... for all the tears you wiped for me;
... for all the sweet words you whispered;
... for all the care you showe;
... for all the laughters you shared.

I love you...

... And the way you smile at me;
... And the way you kiss away my sadness;
... And the way you whisper goodnight;
... And the way you look at me;
... And everything else about you.

I'm leaving...

... Because you want me too;
... Because it is the best thing to do;
... Because we cannot be together anymore;
... Because I want to be free again;
... Because there's nothing else to hold on to.

I fought for so long. I fought so hard. But you didn't fought with me...
You left me on my own.
I fought OUR battle; a battle for TWO, I fought it ON MY OWN.