a product of frustration...

It's been a while since I last updated.. hmm.. So many have happened and so much have changed..

**naku, ayaw talaga mag-function ng utak ko!!!**

I want to write, about anything.. poems, short stories, essays, articles.. whatever.. i just want to write..

I miss writing, I miss the ideas coming into my head one after the other, I miss the was those ideas magically turn themselves into words, I MISS THE WRITER IN ME!!!

It's been so long since I've written something worth reading, it was months ago I guess..

I'm getting frustrated, really.. I want to write, something, just anything. But I can't squeeze anything from my good for nothing brain. It's been stagnant for so long, maybe that's why all I can form are jumble of undecipherable words, that doesn't make sense even to me.

ANYWAY.. Yan, its raining! Since I self-proclaimed that rain is my muse and inspiration, let's see if I can produce something.. err.. just something..

___________---------------_________________--------------________________

REFLECTION

It was staring back at me..
The very image of a lucid insanity.

Illuminated by the moon,
Quintessence of an imperfect perfection.

Melancholic eyes,
Shining and Bright
Suffering and Pained.

A face streaked with
Tears
A mask of grief,
Tortured anguish.

Silhouetted in the dark
An abyss of bizzare tribulation.

Why?
The once smiling face,
Now, an epitome of agony.

I wanted to lift that sorrow
That unspeakable woe
From your eyes.

But how?

I tried reached out,
Wiped your tears.
Take away the sadness.

But,
My hands never touched
Your face.

The water stirred,
Your image blurred.

My reflection
Gone.

___________---------------_________________--------------________________

Uhm, well.. how was that for a 2-minute composition?

Hmm.. D*mn, it sucks!! This just proves that I still can't write.. The writer in me is still on a vacation and with no definite date of return or if it is still going to come back..

Well, I just hope that it would come back.. I can't live without the 'WRITER ME' within me.. I want her back..

Writing is my only consolation whenever i feel bad.. It is my only outlet, the only way to let all those traitorous emotions out. So without the WRITER in me, I just don't know how I will be able to cope with everything.. And without that vital part of me, I become a changed person. I become someone else, someone I dont know and someone i dont like, DEFINITELY!!

Well, that's all for now. I hope, the next time I update my blog, the WRITER ME would be back and I would be back to my old self.. cOZ' i MISS THE VETZKY WHO USED TO BE THE IMAGE I SEE IN THE MIRROR STARING BACK AT ME.

an EXTREME AVERSION to SPIDERMAN

I was never a fan of spiderman, or all those movies with the suffix "man" attached to it, like Batman, superman, and whatever man that is. But its not that I hate them either. It's just those kinds of movies doesn't hold my attention for a very long time. While people find them exciting and very interesting, well I must admit (and you can sue me for it) that I find them extremely boring.

But as I said before, I don't hate/dislike them. Except for Spiderman, and that enmity just took place recently. Actually, I waited and looked forward for that final installation in the Spiderman trilogy, because though I find it boring I am very curious about how the cast and crew will conclude the story of the film. And i already got my answer, I saw the movie with a friend on its first day of screening. I find it good/nice/fine/OKAY, yeah there were boring parts but out of 10, I'll give it a well-deserve grade of 6. And oh! That was a biased rating guys, fyi. Its just because I'm not interested that is why I gave it a 6. But as of now, if you ask me to rate it again, I'll probably even give it a negative rating. Actually, it has nothing to do with the movie itslef, but with a situation that have risen because of that movie. And its not a good one. A situation that resulted to an even more complicated situation. And the result of that 'even more complicated situation'? I cannot predict.

Forgive me Spiderman, but because of that, I developed a certain form of animosity to you. You have no fault, its all mine. I just wanted to have someone to blame other than myself.

Well, I've always done these kind of things before. I always divert my blame to others, though I know that the one I should blame and hate is myself. But its just isn't done, is it? To hate your ownself. Because once you yourself hate 'yourself', then what do you think would happen to you then?

*all are product of nonsense ramblings. so please dont sue me*