I was there..

"The earth is shaking, the screams are deafening, scrambling people are everywhere; APOCALYPSE had dawned man-kind." - Those were the thoughts playing in my mind last friday.

Last October 19 (Friday), an unfortunate tragedy striken and scared the wits out of all the shoppers and mall-hoppers of Glorietta (and also the whole Philippines). And if you were actually there, you would be thinking the very same thoughts that were running on my mind that day.

Super tagal na since my 'bestest' best friends and I went out. One reason is the twins (Lance and Axel) are out of the country for more than 2 years already; then with the others, we just simply have conflicting schedules. We are all now studying in different colleges and universities taking different courses, so it is hard for us to meet and go out as often as we want.

So, last Friday, Axel suggested that we go out, eat lunch and watch movies together, just like the old times. At sa dinami-dami ng mall, ewan ko ba why Axel suggested Glorietta. But still we push through that plan.

We were suppose to go together to Glorietta, Lance would be driving, peo hinde ako nagpaalam, and my mom wont let me go. So as an alibi, I told my mom that I have to go to school for completion of some sort and so as to support my alibi, instead of going with Axel and the rest of the guys, sumabay ako kay Mommy paluwas. From my mom's office, sumunod na lang ako ng G2 at around 11am. I got there at around 1230pm, everyone have eaten their lunch already everyone except for me. The next stop is greenbelt. Everyone went to greenbelt while Lance volunteered to accompany me while eating.

And that is when it all begun.

Around 1pm - Lance and I decided to just have a take-out, but Lance convinced me to have a quick bite, anyway the guys wont mind waiting for us.

1:15pm - We ended up eating in Subway because food is good and also their service is fast.

Around 130pm in Lance's watch (150pm in my watch) - there was a loud bang, tremors, then there is smoke, ringing of fire alarms everywhere, people scrambling and screaming.

Lance was the quick thinker between the both of us, while I was busy getting over my shock he was already pulling me out of my chair and literally dragging me out of the mall.

When I slightly got over my shock, we were already outside, people covered in dust and blood were everywhere, someone is asking me what happened, people were screaming for the names of their companions, everyone was in shock, crying and scared. And all the while, Lance's hand is holding mine in a tight grip and his other hand was holding his phone he was talking to someone, our friends I think. We met up somewhere I dont know, I can't help it, I'm still in mild shock.

Since we can't get the car, we just took a cab to Lance and Axel's place, thank God their parents are not there to fuss over us, especially when my parents do not know where I was.

It took them (my friends) almost two hours to talk me out of my mild shock. And when I was already completely conscious, it all dawned upon me. How lucky I was, how someone up there loves me so much, how blessed I was.

At least 11 died and a hundred were hurt but fortunately we were not one of them. I am happy, but not completely.

I feel sorry and sad for all those who were not fortunate like us. To all those who lost their lives, I pray that their souls may find eternal peace, then for those who they left behind, I pray that God will grant them strength to be able to acccept what happened and move on with their lives, and to those who got hurt, I pray that they will be out of danger's way and get better, finally to everyone who was there but, like me, fortunate enough to get out of it unharmed, I pray that we value this second life given to us. Not everyone is blessed enough to survive but we did. We are VERY BLESSED because we survived the tragedy without a scratch, err, nasugatan pala ako ng konti.

And becuase we experienced the tragedy first-hand, I think its a bomb. Well, the impact was so so, (its indescribable) to think that it is because of diesel explosion. I guess we were just REALLY lucky enough to survive.

Hay naku, I just pray for everyone's safety from now til forever na lang. Life's so unpredictable, you wont know what would happen next. i guess we just have to be prepared no matter what.

I still have the FINAL say

Then he asked me, "Are you happy, Yvette? Are you truly happy?"

I looked up at him, stopped for a while and pondered on so many things. It took me sometime before I was able to answer. Am I happy? This was a bad day turned great. A day I thought I woud never get through with alive. But it turned into a great day. So was I happy?

Of course I AM HAPPY!

"Yes, I am happy. So happy, I dare not ask for anything more." I brightly answered. I am so happy I could die anytime.

Since I was sitting on the floor and he was standing by me, he patted me in the head and smiled the sweetest smile I ever got from him,

"Good that you are happy. I can't help but notice that you've been so down and depressed these past few weeks. I'm getting worried."

It may seem so cheesy and corny, but that touched every fiber of my being. He is right; depression, hurt, and hate is slowly eating me up. And I think no matter how much I pretend that some things do not affect me, I guess it just shows. The way I speak, the way I act, the way everything I am is shouting to the whole world that I am not feeling good. Some may not notice it BUT others do. HE noticed, he FELT what I was feeling, he CARED. And that made me really happy. And to think, we're not that close.

I've been hurt, I've been bitter, I've been hated, I've been depressed. But that was a thing of the past now.

Now, I want to leave everything behind, focus on my future and carry no grudges. I want to let go of everything because it just keeps on pulling me down. And I dont want to stay down forever. I want to stand up; get out from the quicksand of depression I fell into. I want to go back to the old me. This time for SURE.

It is said that HAPPINESS is a CHOICE and I CHOOSE to be HAPPY. I will be HAPPY. It may take me a few more days, weeks, months or maybe years to be happy, but that wont stop me (from being happy).

To the person who asked me if I am happy on that special day; I am so grateful you did. Now I realized, I dont need to be bitter over things I cannot change. That one question opened my eyes, my mind and my heart. I MATTER. No matter how despicable I am, someone still care enough to worry for/over me. I am still appreciated, I am still important, I AM STILL LOVED.

Again, to YOU (you know who you are) I give my whole LOYALTY to. Thank You.

And to the others; for hurting me, for pulling me down, for making me feel I am worth less than what I really am, THANK YOU. Thank you because you made me realize that NOT all people in the world are NICE (something I believed before) and even the person you trust the most is capable of hurting you.

Sabe nga ni Big Brother : "Kahit gaano ka kabaet, kahit gaano ka kalikable. May mga tao na hinde ka magugustuhan pero hinde ibig sabihin nun wala kang kwentang tao."=p


*note: Hinde ako bitter. Nagsasabe lang ako ng totoo. GRATEFUL din ako sa inyo. =D